I used to believe that good things would just happen randomly. While that is kinda true, it doesn't get you anywhere.
You see I'm a gamer, a BIG gamer so most of the time I would be sitting on my arse doing nothing all day. However recently going out and doing stuff feels so much more rewarding.
You see when I was just gaming I felt empty and lonely. I literally had no personality and I still think that is true till this day. But since that I'm going out more I feel so.... alive.
For the last few years I have been bored out of my damn mind. There were times I would just lose it and just lose the will to live. But for the past few months I have witnessed something beautiful.
When I go out meeting new people I generally feel excited and yet afraid but in my eyes that feels good. I had been alone for so long that I forgot how it feels to be noticed and it feels magical.
Sure every time I do go out I might lose a brain cell or two due to the heavy amount of drinking but I feel happy doing so and if I'm happy and everyone else is happy, then I can't ask for more. That is the true reward. Happiness.
Tuesday, 30 September 2014
Why people can't tell you what to do
Hello friendly bloggers. Just wanted to talk about a new subject and share it amongst all you fine people.
Recently people have been telling me that what I'm doing is stupid, pointless and stuff like that and even though I want to slap those people around the face I just simply ignore them.
The thing is we have our own lives. We make our own decisions. If people start ordering you around and you end up following those orders then you are nothing more than a slave.
If you want to do something then do it. No one can actually stop you. Sure they may say that you're a fool but it is just words at the end of the day.
If you want to party, then party. If you want to smoke, then smoke. I don't really do any of these except the odd party every so often but I choose not to do them.
I want to do what I want to do and that's to follow my dreams. I want to have a joyful life, have fun with my friends and then eventually find a girlfriend.
While I'm having trouble finding a girlfriend because I'm socially awkward and very ugly, I have met most of my goals already and I'm happy for that.
When I was a kid I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia (Not to be confused with Dyslexia) and while it has effected my life in many ways, I'm still happy. I'm always smiling. In fact because I'm always happy people think that I'm smoking dope but I'm not. I have never smoked. I'm just happy.
My point is, is that if you think your life is depressing then you're partly to blame because you're the one that's letting the depression get to you. Have fun. Live it up a little dude.
Recently people have been telling me that what I'm doing is stupid, pointless and stuff like that and even though I want to slap those people around the face I just simply ignore them.
The thing is we have our own lives. We make our own decisions. If people start ordering you around and you end up following those orders then you are nothing more than a slave.
If you want to do something then do it. No one can actually stop you. Sure they may say that you're a fool but it is just words at the end of the day.
If you want to party, then party. If you want to smoke, then smoke. I don't really do any of these except the odd party every so often but I choose not to do them.
I want to do what I want to do and that's to follow my dreams. I want to have a joyful life, have fun with my friends and then eventually find a girlfriend.
While I'm having trouble finding a girlfriend because I'm socially awkward and very ugly, I have met most of my goals already and I'm happy for that.
When I was a kid I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia (Not to be confused with Dyslexia) and while it has effected my life in many ways, I'm still happy. I'm always smiling. In fact because I'm always happy people think that I'm smoking dope but I'm not. I have never smoked. I'm just happy.
My point is, is that if you think your life is depressing then you're partly to blame because you're the one that's letting the depression get to you. Have fun. Live it up a little dude.
Sunday, 28 September 2014
about me
Salutations fellow bloggers (said in a lispy nerdy voice lol ) My name is Ryan and I am a first time blogger that wants to be part of the blogging world simply because I want to.
I'm a man that desires nothing more than the truth and respect. When these desires are not met then I feel depressed and lonely. But since that never happens I'm pretty much the happiest man on earth.
I have recently got a new job. I have had three jobs in total. My first job was a game journalist. I didn't get paid or anything but I enjoyed it and had many supporters even if my parents didn't exactly approve but I went for it anyway because I am my own person. If someone says to me that what I'm doing is pointless I would just tell them that if it makes me happy then it is not pointless at all.
My second job was working for a petrol station. Whilst I hated every moment of working there, it did improve my social skills despite the fact I struggle with socialising. In fact ever since I left that job a few weeks ago I have been out and about with my friends now and I no longer feel like I'm an outcast of sorts. For the first time in my life I actually feel confident and happier.
Now with this new job I am a web designer for a small company and I feel right at home. even though I am one of the two IT supporters I can finally get a chance to geek out about everything techy.
In my spare time I like to do 3D design as in CGI. While I'm new to this hobby of mine I do seem to have a lot of passion towards it and the fact that I managed to build a 3D room in less than 5 hours it shows that its my new talent
I also made a bender robot from futurama which was a lot of fun
I am also a hardcore gamer and trust me I am literally addicted to it. it's like my own drug. that's how bad my gaming addiction is. I need to get a life don't I lol.
Actually speaking of getting a life I am actually starting to cut down on my problem in favour of going out more and I am a lot happier and I don't feel bored anymore. When I am out I am always drinking and making new friends at my favourite bars.
My other hobby is voice acting. While I rarely do recordings I do like to impersonate a celebrity or character. I like to test my vocal range and I also do it because I really don't like my normal voice. I sound dull and emotionless even when I'm trying to express myself.
Speaking of which that is exactly why I'm cosplaying as L from death note at comic con. I love the character because I can relate. I am a genius with poor social skills and I talk with no expression at all.
That's about it for my life story. If I told you anymore I might bore you to death so I'll stop there. I'll probably be sending photos of my outfit on another day so stick around and see ya guys later.
I'm a man that desires nothing more than the truth and respect. When these desires are not met then I feel depressed and lonely. But since that never happens I'm pretty much the happiest man on earth.
I have recently got a new job. I have had three jobs in total. My first job was a game journalist. I didn't get paid or anything but I enjoyed it and had many supporters even if my parents didn't exactly approve but I went for it anyway because I am my own person. If someone says to me that what I'm doing is pointless I would just tell them that if it makes me happy then it is not pointless at all.
My second job was working for a petrol station. Whilst I hated every moment of working there, it did improve my social skills despite the fact I struggle with socialising. In fact ever since I left that job a few weeks ago I have been out and about with my friends now and I no longer feel like I'm an outcast of sorts. For the first time in my life I actually feel confident and happier.
Now with this new job I am a web designer for a small company and I feel right at home. even though I am one of the two IT supporters I can finally get a chance to geek out about everything techy.
In my spare time I like to do 3D design as in CGI. While I'm new to this hobby of mine I do seem to have a lot of passion towards it and the fact that I managed to build a 3D room in less than 5 hours it shows that its my new talent
Actually speaking of getting a life I am actually starting to cut down on my problem in favour of going out more and I am a lot happier and I don't feel bored anymore. When I am out I am always drinking and making new friends at my favourite bars.
My other hobby is voice acting. While I rarely do recordings I do like to impersonate a celebrity or character. I like to test my vocal range and I also do it because I really don't like my normal voice. I sound dull and emotionless even when I'm trying to express myself.
Speaking of which that is exactly why I'm cosplaying as L from death note at comic con. I love the character because I can relate. I am a genius with poor social skills and I talk with no expression at all.
That's about it for my life story. If I told you anymore I might bore you to death so I'll stop there. I'll probably be sending photos of my outfit on another day so stick around and see ya guys later.
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